Monday, January 11, 2010

Movie Review: Finding Nemo

Finding Nemo is a movie that stars two orange fish as the lead characters and various others as supporting cast. It tells the tale of the larger of the two fish (Franko Beans) hitch hiking his way from Cairns to Sydney in an effort to “find” his beloved friend “Nemo” (hence the title of the film), who is trapped in a glass cage of fish domination. It was a poor decision on the part of the producers to star two almost identical fish in both lead roles. It is frequently easy to mistake one for the other during crucial plot points; the one identifying factor between the two fish ,size, is rendered obsolete due to a) an inherent lack of sense of scale in bodies of water and b) depending on how close the camera is to the fish the small fish will often appear larger and the large fish smaller. In one scene the smaller fish (Nemo) seems to spontaneously teleport out of the glass cage and into the stomach of a whale, teamed up at this point with none other than “Blue Lesbian McGee”, who just so happens to be Franko Beans' usual cohort. WTF?! Plot inconsistencies such as this are absurd to the point of insulting. Did the writers actually think that anyone would buy this nonsense

To add injury to insult, the film is also clearly racist and paints a not too subtle picture of a future world where Neo Aryan supremacy reigns supreme. The “reef fish” are a bright, beautiful and intelligent species who live in a perfect utopia surrounded by others as pretty and smart as they. Meanwhile, the fish outside this sanctuary are depicted as drab, identical mindless drones devoid of individuality or intelligence. During the climactic finale Lesbian McGee is caught in a net and about to be pulled in for the slaughter with thousands of sea bass. “But we have to save her!” cries Nemo, with NO mention of the THOUSANDS of other fish about to be REVERSE ASPHYXIATED. NAZI! To save his fellow Nazi, Nemo TEACHES the STUPID BASS how to SWIM DOWNWARDS in order to BREAK THE FUCKING NET. This film is a travesty on too many levels, minus all stars.


  1. I find it very hard to pay attention to animated films - too many colours, too much movement, too many lame jokes. I gave up on this one 20 minutes in. Well done on going the distance.

  2. Didn't have much of a choice with this one - it was on constant repeat 8 hours a day 7 days a week on the television wall for about a year when I worked at Dick Smith.