Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Top 5 Ways to Fight Depression

OK, so this is a really old piece I wrote over a year ago, but I'm going to give it another airing on the new blog.


5. Adam Sandler films. Adam Sandler is hilarious. Really. Especially when he gets angry. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAAA. LOOK HIS GOLF BALL WONT GO IN THE HOLE!! BWAAHAAA!! Thank christ he isn’t dead yet so he can continue to make more quality films to cheer me up.

4. Happy Meals. Happy meat in a happy bun with happy potato dipped in happy boiling oil in a happy as fuck box. Take the depression of inhumanely farmed cattle and small children working in third world plastic toy factories and feed on their souls for pleasure. I recently replaced my wallet with a Happy Meal.

3. Crocs. My black Dunlop Volleys were really getting me down so I traded them in for a pair of bright rubber oversized clown sandals so that every time I feel down and stare at my feet I end up laughing at how stupidly ridiculous they look.

2. Merry-go-rounds. Round and round and round, I’m riding a horsey and look! There’s a hippo! And the lights are flashing and the carnival music is playing and balloons are over there but now I’m over here and there’s someone’s dog and there’s an inflatable giraffe and now I’m over there but not any more oh dear god I’m having so much fun!

1. Chicken Soup for the Soul. “It’s like homemade chicken soup that warms the chill and heals the ill…based on the belief that true testimonies of goodness and loving transformations can nourish us to the bone and heal the cynicism in our hearts. It’s hard not to shed a tear of gratitude, feeling thrilled to have been touched and soothed so easily.” (amazon.com) If only Ian Curtis had read this book, Joy Division would still be together touring their seminal album “Joy Division for the Soul” live at Christian motivational camps. What a pity.

9 comments:

  1. Surely the joy-giving capacity of your Crocs has been thoroughly upstaged by the pair of 1-up mushroom slippers now in your possession Whenever your current life gets you down you should be rallied by the fact that you still have two extra ones (assuming they haven't disintegrated yet).

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  2. They absolutely give me more joy, but I'm not going to re-write history here. They are also too ridiculously fashionable/obscure to have a crack at in this context, but they may feature on the blog at some point yet though. They got a good reaction from a pizza delivery man not long ago. Stay tuned (or connected?)

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  3. I'm agreeing that crocs are absolutely hilarious. I think every shoemaker should aspire to such visual wonders as crocs.

    On a side note, heaven help us if they make a movie of Chicken Soup for the Soul with Adam Sandler in the lead. I think I'd just be too happy for words.

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  4. Hahahaha! I'd be putting some sort of copyright on that ASAP Mikey, before the Hollywood producers who frequent this blog notice and make a zillion dollars from your idea.

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  5. I enjoyed this. Are you still going to write a review of the Oren/Nels show? I think you should interview Trent -- who inadvertently took what was effectively a roofie, for his thoughts.

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  6. Also, crocs are extremely popular in psych hospitals. It is as if they've become the official sho...rubber sandal of the insane.

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  7. I will interview Trent, does he have facebook? I need a short account of Triad from you as well as they're a little hazy in my mind despite enjoying them a lot. Ive got Grover and Jazz-Shit down pat though.

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  8. Oh and i'll most certainly give you credit for your account of them too. That piece is almost done.

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  9. The post has really helpful ideas to beat depression. These simple techniques can help us to overcome depression. Here I am going to add a resource for all of them who really want to fight depression with a simple tips and techniques.

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